Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Set Up

So here it is....


You've graduated from college, you're trying to find a job and more than stressed about that endeavor. You finally get a job in a city where a lot of your friends live, most of which are married. No big deal, you hang out with them, usually the 3rd wheel, or 5th wheel, maybe even 17th wheel. You really don't have a problem with it, you've made it this far being the "odd" wheel and done so well some places are making statues of you. There have been times you would have enjoyed having a 2nd wheel to your odd wheel and even had some that were close to making the cut. But your constant defense of your contentment of being the odd wheel is not enough for your friends, specifically those that are married. They love being married (or hate it) and want you to experience the joy they share (or share the misery that marriage has brought them). I don't know what it is that compels these people to attempt to find your complimentary wheel but it is as if they were given a life duty (ha...duty) or anointed by some wizard or dying relative to find my spouse for me. I love, I mean you love that so many people take an interest in your life and that so many people care enough to suggest options but at some point it just gets humorous. It's as if a bachelor (or bachelorette) walks across the stage at graduation and proceeds directly to a tattoo parlor (right after they hit you up to join the alumni association and donate money, as if you haven't just "donated" entirely too much money to them already) and get "single and helpless" tattooed across his/her forehead. People do this unintentionally and really only have your best interest at heart but it's like subconsciously they're thinking "If he/she can't find someone in college then he/she will probably wind up as the old scary guy with a mean dog or the cat lady. Some people actually want to be the cat lady.....Lauren. I think the problem I have, I mean you have, with it is that it eliminates the joy of the journey or the glory of the hunt.

Would it be nearly as impressive if someone had "set up" Columbus with America? No, he had to discover it, on accident even...

Would it be as great a story if the Wright brothers had been "set up" with a functioning plane? No, they had to fail a couple of times (sometimes crashing...and burning) before they made their breakthrough...

Would it be as memorable if the first time a guy hunting Bigfoot found him? The answer is "No". And when I'm the first one I'll tell you all about it...not that I want to marry Bigfoot, or a girl that resembles Bigfoot......nevermind.

The bottom line, is that sometimes you have to go through the mud to win the Gold, sometimes you have to go down in a hail of gunfire to be great....or something like that.


So thank you to all of you who have been a part of the setting up process, the providers of "great girls who love the Lord", the people who "know the perfect girl for me, as long as she is out of prison now" or the friends who have suggestions for future spouses that "have great personalities". The sad fact is that those options usually provide me with my choice of the following:







































Understandably, I might be lucky to nab any of these women. I get it...

5 comments:

John said...

Well that sucks, cause i know this great girl... nevermind...
Good news... now whenever you get the "i know a girl" line you can just hand them the application and ask them to have her fill it out! What's up! Problem solved!
you're welcome. How's that coming, by the way?

elizabeth said...

Well, I think these 3 have the characteristics you're looking for.

1) does not dress like a hooch

2) is into movies

3) would not ask you stupid questions about sports; she would kick your a in them

But you live in Dallas now and I'm pretty sure they don't let girls like that past the 635 bubble.

becca harris said...

i am embarrassed that you put my muscle picture up. too far.

Jenn said...

ha. you don't know me ... i work for Pine Cove and came across your site.

that is HILARIOUS. I identify in more ways than imaginable.

thanks for the laugh.

Anonymous said...

I just thought I would cheer you up and let you know.............it NEVER goes away!! There is always someone that knows someone. HOWEVER.....you never know where Miss Right might turn up.
Love you!
kathy